Infertility in India: Two Stories
When God’s Searchlight Found Me
By Mia Lakhi
If God asked Noah to build an ark again, I won’t be allowed on the boat. And I will forgive him for that. After all, if the fate of the future world depends upon the fertility of the current species, you don’t choose people like me.
I have made peace with that piece of truth. But believe me; it was really tough at first.
Consider this. There is this girl who was so fit and active that she had the world healthy written all over her face. You know someone who easily became a teacher’s pet…Great at studies, good at sports and she could dance, too.
Meanwhile, God was so busy with his other creations that he forgot that he had loaned Lady Luck to her. So, this girl soon grew up as a healthy desirable candidate in the Indian marriage market. I know you will not be surprised to know that she found her dream match and married him as others burnt in the agony of envy.
But then she could not evade God’s searchlight forever. He found her. He saw that she probably needed some jolts. After all, you know what good days are only after you have suffered the bad ones.
So, there I was enjoying my sugary honeymoon phase, when it happened. I was diagnosed with liver disease. But thank God (yes, I mean it), I didn’t know all the technicalities. I thought it was just a bout of jaundice. This proved to be a blessing because I consider myself a classic case of acute pessimism. Had I known the truth, I would have wilted away even before doctors could pronounce me a hopeless case. But it was my poor husband, who struggled with the burden of the truth.
I can’t even imagine what he underwent when the doctors painted a dark future (if any) for me. But God had something else in mind. Soon, I started to recover. Doctors had to admit it was a miracle. Within a few months, I was back to normal. Well, almost. If a liver disease completely disappeared without any medicine, how would atheists fight for their cause?
Anyway, the disease subsided but it left its evil marks on me. It wrecked havoc with my hormones. “Primary infertility”, said the doctors, when I failed to conceive after repeated attempts.
There could have been a way out with advanced fertility treatments. But there was someone that did not agree to go ahead with the treatment. My Liver! It strongly reacts to such medicine and threatens me to treat it well. I take its threats very seriously.
So, after six years of marriage, it was still the same -- Two people madly in love with each other sans a baby. Friends, around me, were falling pregnant as if pregnancy was a communicable disease. I cried, sulked and burnt in envy.
But then one day, while researching for a Beatles project, I stumbled upon the words of St. John Lennon – “Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans”. I don’t know why or in what context he said this but it struck me like a bolt of lightning.
And then, I knew. I have been planning for a baby in my own pursuit of happiness. But how can I pursue something that I have always had?
Here, was a person who was given an opportunity to experience rough weather, so that she could be a veteran sailor in a life full of storms; a person who was given a new life and a second chance to love back people who have always loved her. Almost everybody, at some point, has been spotted by harsh searchlight of God. But not many have had a loving hand that gripped them so that they could not slip away in darkness.
So, go ahead Noah; build your boat. I am happy now. We no longer “plan” for a baby; although, we still “wish” for one. You know, just in case, God changes his mind.
Without a Uterus
by Preeti Singh
To be living life without a uterus is a blissful experience which I must share with many women like myself. After years of trial and error, conception took place but an emergency hysterectomy followed after a tough C section! Being a mother for the first and the last time, excitement and apprehension engulfed me but not without remorse of losing a vital organ. But years down the line, I realized the loss was actually bliss and felt God really does the best.
Agreed , my opportunities of providing my daughter with a sibling may have gone but the advantages are plenty. No more painful monthly menstrual cramps--as a result no more rushing to the chemist for purchasing sanitary napkins well camouflaged in newspapers to avoid strange looks!
My husband dear too is spared the agony of purchasing protection amidst mumbled undertones! Instead one is completely carefree with no tension of being intimate with ones loved one safe days!
Am often faced by sympathetic looks and compassionate sweet nothings from old ladies who feel am incomplete without a possibility of bearing a son !The young ladies envy me and wish why couldn't god almighty make periods annually instead of monthly and why shouldn't men bear up the 5 days once in a while! The freedom I feel can only be experienced not expressed!
But everything comes with a price--so has my present blissful state. Am too faced by medical problems every now and then with an organ amiss within not to miss the added weight--but am unwilling to trade this bliss with a life containing a uterus!
By helping to reduce the country's population, by willingly letting go of an unwanted organ, by making love without being concerned about procreation am truly grateful to god for blessing me with a beautiful daughter in trade of a uterus! Am welcoming the fast approaching menopause for which am being well prepared with full gusto. Pain free months, full focus on one child and a stress free intimacy--what more could a woman ask for?